SCARIEN LIBERATION ARMY


N E W S


URGENT MESSAGE

THE FALSE JIHAD HAS ARRIVED - Regional Scarien Coordinators should immediately mobilize their operatives to perform psychic interventions. Miztah Skaree warned of the evil False Jihad in his address at the 1999 Scarien Convention. The future of the world depends on our ability to prevent further death, destruction and exploitation during this unholy war.

The Republicrat Empire has brought the False Jihad to America and the turmoil has only increased their appetite for power and riches. The Republicrats and their partners in the False Jihad have enlisted Satan and mutant Arien aliens as allies and other evil supernatural forces are known to be involved.

Scarien operatives should concentrate their efforts on transforming the intentions of the Republicrats and their partners. The evil desires of these dangerous groups to inflict death and destruction must be replaced with crippling anxiety. Operatives able to project low frequency cosmic vibrations should use their skills to cause combatants to experience chronic diarrhea.


TRANSCENDENTAL ANARCHY REQUIRES THOUGHT
- MIZTAH SKAREE -


ANNOUNCEMENTS

SPECIAL OPS - No unified psychic disruption operations are scheduled until Scarien Day. Meanwhile, Scarien freedom fighters are encouraged to practice cathode ray astral projection techniques to disrupt the mental functions of Republicrat leaders. Regional Coordinators are now planning strategies to overthrow the Republicrat Empire using new psychic manipulation techniques A report will soon be issued to all SLA Operatives explaining the new technique. The report will also contain a two-year plan of action and training schedules.

A JOB WELL DONE - Transformational energies unleashed by SLA Operatives against Republicrats during the Election 2000 period were extremely successful. The Republicrat campaigns were transformed into theatres of the absurd through psychic intervention. Psychic freedom fighters reduced the Republicrats to babbling bufoons. A poll taken by a respected tabloid indicates that 30.4% of those who followed Election 2000 will never vote for another Republicrat as long as they live.



TABLOID REPORTS


ANCIENT SCARIEN MURAL BAFFLES EXPERTS
A mural believed to be 10,000 years old found by CIA archaeologists shows a space ship hovering over a Scarien pyramid.

FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE
Leaders from the Church of the Holy Pharisees seek to suppress and destroy ancient Scarien scrolls.

SCARIENS vs THE MARINES
The Scarien Liberation Army conference will coincide with the Marine's Operation True-X, an urban warfare "training exercise".



the book of the millennium
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SCARIEN LIBERATION ARMY