The Hideous Truth Revealed wEakLy wHiRL kNEwZ
THE WEB'S NO. 1 POSTMODERN ULTRA TABLOID

YOUR PERSONAL HORRORSCOPE




You may experience overwhelming anger and frustration after you discover that reality is not what you were told it was. Supress these emotions by drinking heavily. If drinking is not an option for you, consider abusing loved ones, smashing your TV, or kicking the neighbor's dog.

A new acquaintance will fall madly in love with you and threaten to commit suicide if you don't agree to marriage. Avoid this person and do not admit to authorities that you know this individual, if asked. Limit your romantic activities to brief encounters with total strangers.

December is a great month to sell your home, quit your job, and head for the hills. Several years of living in a packing crate buried in one of America's National Parks will change your perspective on things.



The Hideous Truth Revealed
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