PHILADELPHIA ~ The City of Brotherly Love played host to the Right Coast Republicrat Pageant this season and Philly rolled out the red carpet to the 2,000 Republicrats in attendance. Despite a few anarchists hellbent on disrupting the pageant, the gala event was a huge success.
Radical anarchists were prevented from conducting subversive puppet shows by authorities after ringleaders of the terrorist group were arrested. After rounding up hundreds of the anarchists, the authorities declared martial law and set up roadblocks. To prevent further acts of sedition, only Republicrats with proper credentials were allowed free travel during the pageant. The glorious pageant was greatly appreciated by the Republicrats who traveled from all over the country to attend.
The theme of the pageant was "Passionate Corporatism" and the specatular event featured a number of Negro, Latino and disabled entertainers, comedians, and musicians. Ethnocentric food was served, including over 16 tons of Philly Cheese Steak. Electrifying speeches written by top Republicrat speech writers were delivered by dozens of high ranking Republicrats, including Dick "Warbucks" Cheney, General Colon Bowel, Laura Bush Junior, George Bush Junior, J. C. "Forty" Watts, and Bob "Stiffy" Dole.
Republicrat insiders are saying Gore Junior's Left Coast Republicrat Pageant in LA will have to be a real show-stopper to beat the Philly extravaganza. George Bush Junior and Al Gore Junior each received $13 Million from the Federal Republicrat Welfare Commission to throw the posh Republicrat bashes. Corporate sponsers have also contributed to make the Republicrat Pageants the most spectacular ever.