WASHINGTON ~ Several dozen top players in the global community held a celebration to end all celebrations last Super Tuesday after members of the elite group declared victory. The Illuminati in attendance included George Bush Junior, Al Gore Junior, Johhny McCain, Dollar Bill Bradley and Imperial President Clinton. Representatives from most major corporate sponsers also attended the after hours Republicrat party.
The Imperial President opened the secret ceremonies by awarding Bradley and McCain the Republicrat Medal Of Honor for their outstanding performances and providing the Republicrat process with the illusion of democracy. Recipients of the coveted Republicrat award also receive contracts worth millions of dollars from corporate sponsers for consulting work and motivational speeches.
The Imperial President then introduced the Holy Imperial Pope Bobby Shiller who provided the globalists with an inspiring monolgue. The Imperial President recently appointed Shiller as the Pope of the Church of the Holy Pharisees.
Shiller ended his sermon by giving away 100 copies of an oversized gold plated edition of the Living Large Bible.
"Each one of you has a God inside," Pope Shiller told the Republicrats,"and that God forgives you each time you fall short of your own expectations."
The frontrunning cousins, Bush Junior and Gore Junior, followed Pope Shiller with an act that included a song and dance routine. The two Juniors sang the school songs for their respective universities, Yale and Harvard, and concluded their humorous act with a spoof on their upcoming Imperial Presidential Debate.
Imperial President Clinton ended the celebration with a short speech, for which he received a standing ovation.
"We have declared another victory tonight, comrades. Whether I serve a third term, or whether my friends George or Al take my place, we will have won again. The Third Way has triumphed again and in November the voters will elect one of us, assuming elections are held. Long live the Brave New World Order!"