MOONDANCE SALOON TO CLOSE
Bushmill's Man of the Year
had a mystical vision that
compelled him to book the
legendary Scariens combo
RICHMOND ~ wEakLy wHiRL kNEwZ has learned that Richmond's landmark night club, the Moondance Saloon, will close after the 10th of April. While many club goers believe that owner Chuck Ren will live high on the hog off the millions he will receive from selling the club, tabloid reporters have discovered that Ren had other reasons for selling the famous night club.
According to a source close to a dishwasher at the Moondance Saloon, Ren witnessed a mystical vision late one night on his way home from the club. The dishwasher's friend claimed that a 900 foot Santa Clause appeared before Ren and told him to sell his saloon and await further instructions. Before the jolly apparition vanished, the giant Santa told Ren that he must have the Scariens peform once more before closing the club.
Tabloid reporters were able to confirm that the controversial combo associated with the bizarre Scarien Cult will appear at the Moondance Saloon on Tuesday April 6th. Those familiar with the inner workings of the Scarien Cult are saying that the performance will commemorate the passing of the night club, similar to the ritual Scarien funerals conducted over 10,000 years ago.