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THE WEB'S NO. 1 POSTMODERN ULTRA TABLOID
INTERVIEW WITH MANNY JACOBS
Impresario Manny Jacobs
TRANSCRIPT OF TELEPHONE INTERVIEW:
STAFF REPORTER: Hello, may I speak with Mr. Jacobs?
JACOBS: What do you want?
STAFF REPORTER: Mr. Jacobs?
JACOBS: What the hell do you want?
STAFF REPORTER: This is Ace Hooligan with the wEakLy wHiRL kNEwZ and I am calling about a photograph we have obtained.
JACOBS: I know its you. Them pictures were taken 30 years ago. Do any damn thing you want with them.
STAFF REPORTER: The photo I am talking about is of the Draloowekim Mural.
JACOBS: What the hell is that?
STAFF REPORTER: It is an ancient mural located inside the Hollywood Pyramid. Your Scariens are depicted on the mural and I was wondering if you had any explanation for this.
JACOBS: I don't know anything about that.
STAFF REPORTER: My voice analyzer indicates you are lying Mr. Jacobs.
JACOBS: Look Hooligan, Scariens don't know nothing about nothing, see. My people don't know nothing about no Scarien Liberation Army or aliens or cults or anything else, damn it. I wish to hell you'd quit calling me about this crap.
STAFF REPORTER: Are you claiming that the Scariens are not involved with the Scarien Cult?
JACOBS: Are you a friggin idiot? Scariens is a damn band. They play in little redneck joints. Goodbye.
(Jacobs hangs up telephone)
STAFF REPORTER: Hello, Mr. Jacobs?
JACOBS: What the hell is wrong with you?
STAFF REPORTER: I'd like to ask a follow up question.
JACOBS: Goodbye, you bastard.
(Jacobs hangs up telephone)
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