SCARIEN NATION NOW BE ONE
Instant stardom rained on the Scariens. Manny had to hire extra staff just to handle the extra workload. The new Scarien CD had been released and over a million copies had been ordered in advance. MTV was airing footage from Cher's pool party constantly. Kids all over America were wearing Huk's MK-Ultra line of T-shirts and jewelry.
Bill Clinton, at Hillary's insistence, fired Fleetwood Mac as the white house band. The President was negotiating with Manny to get the Scariens as the new house band. The Governor of Virginia, Snoop Dougy Doug Wilder, proclaimed the entire month of August to be Scarien month. Scarien pictures were on the cover of every tabloid at the convenience store. Exclusive interviews were promised to Newsweek, Rolling Stone, People Magazine, and wEakLy wHiRL kNEwZ. The tabloid press corp surrounded the Scariens wherever they went.
Demand for the Scariens was incredible. Smelly canvas bags containing thousands of cards and letters arrived daily. Gigs were booked at Madison L7 Gardens and the Hollywood Bowl. Manny wouldn't even consider booking the band for less than $350 grand, unless it was a benefit. Appearances were slated on the Letterman, Oprah, and Jerry Springer shows.
Some old secret agent buddies of Kareem contacted Manny through unknown channels to book the Scariens for a benefit show at the Great Pyramid. They also picked up a nearby society gig. A coming out party for Sadaam's daughter, Princess Hotintyte. The Israli government had arranged the gigs with CIA help, but no one was aware of that.
The CIA believed that the Scariens had become too visible to be easily eliminated, so they used the Scariens to calm foes in the middle east. The CIA was also anxious to lay their hands on the original Scarien plans for the MK-Ultra wheel. They knew the power of the wheel but were unable to achieve the same effect from similar wheels they had constructed using a swastika pattern instead of the swirl pattern.
Of course, the Scariens were unaware that they were being used as pawns by the CIA. They still believed that the CIA was after them. They weren't really up to a month long tour of the middle east but when Manny promised that Cher and Madonna were going to join the tour, the cats freaked out. They would have gone to Siberia if Cher and Madonna were on the tour.
Manny had been anxious for the Scariens to do a benefit for the Casholic Church. The Vice-Pope himself had called Manny about setting up a gig. The Casholics were raising money to replace a 900 foot dollar symbol, made of solid gold, on the roof of their most sacred building, The Temple of the White Gods. But when Manny found out how much Sadaam was willing to pay for the Scariens, he backed out of the Casholic benefit gig. Even Manny didn't know that the CIA was subsidizing the middle east gigs to the tune of a cool $500,000. And he thought they should make the 900 foot dollar sign out of plastic anyway.
"Paint the damn thing gold and who the hell will know the freakin' difference? Just tell 'em its made out of gold.", Manny told the Vice-Pope's answering machine.
It was 'round midnight when someone banging on the front door of the double wide woke everyone up. They were mad. They had to be at the airport at 5 a.m. to catch the Scarien jet to Egypt.
"Who the hell is out there?"
"It's probably those assholes from the Rolling Stone."
"It's that CIA geek, Dobalina," Jabbah said as he looked through the peephole.
"I'll stall him. You guys go out the back door," whispered J. Edgar Junior as he prepared to open the door.
Kareem opened the back door. Two Dobalina clones were standing on the back stoop with their arms folded. Kareem closed the back door. Dusty tried to get out the bathroom window but halfway out he spotted more Dobalina clones standing in the yard. J. Edgar Junior had the front door cracked about two inches with his foot wedged against the door.
"I don't care who you are, you've got to call Manny Jacobs and get an appointment just like everybody else," chided J. Edgar Junior.
Suddenly, three Dobalina clones pushed the door open, knocking the Scarien Security Specialist on his ass.
"Bob Dobalina, CIA," the clone said as he flashed his shiny badge, "Aren't you going to invite us in?"
"Who are all these weenies," Huk demanded to know.
"We're Bob Dobalina, CIA. You have something I want. Give me the plans to the MK-Ultra wheel."
"You got a warrant, asshole?"
"Our Arien benefactors are quite upset with you Scariens. If you don't give me the plans, there will be more Dobalinas coming to deal with you."
"We don't have the plans anymore," Huk said, "I sent them to Hillary Clinton. I sent her all the scrolls. I sent Bill the stash of mezzmezzro."
"You fat bloated idiot!" Dobalina screamed, "You gave the plans to a woman? Now all real men will suffer. If my little lady gets any bright ideas from Hillary, you creeps are dead!"
"What an asshole," Kareem and Jabbah said in unison.
"Hear and obey," Huk recited as he zapped Dobalina with his hand held MK-Ultra wheel.
"Get the hell outta here, asshole! And take all them other assholes just like you outta here!" J. Edgar Junior yelled into Dobalinas ear.
Dobalina grabbed his head with both hands, appearing to be suddenly overcome with pain. He stumbled out the door and the other clones followed him.
"You gave the scrolls away?"
"What do you think? Do I look like a fool? The plans are in Manny's safe."
"We need to get that red box out of here. They'll be back," Kareem told J. Edgar Junior.
"How about my old trailer? The heats been off that place since we moved in here," Dusty offered, "The fuzz won't make that scene."
So they loaded up the truck and they moved the red box to Dusty's old trailer. It was nearly 2 a.m. and, in four more hours, they would be leaving on a jet plane. They drove back to the double wide to crash out for a while.
Meanwhile, in the parking lot of the 7-11 across the street from the double wide, a Dobalina clone was talking into his shoe. Into another shoe, at an unknown location, the original Bob Dobalina spoke.
"Mr. Dobalina, this is Dobalina reporting in, sir."
"Is that you, 3-Bob?"
"No, sir. This is 2-Bob."
"Did you get the plans?"
"I failed, Mr. Dobalina, sir. I was overcome by their MK-Ultra wheel. I could not bring them in. I thought I was going to lose my mind."
"You'll pay for this Dobalina."
"But Mr. Dobalina, sir. I did find out that the plans are now in the hands of Hillary Clinton."
"How could you allow them to get the plans to her. What will the Ariens do to us if she uses the wheel to further her own agenda? What if she uses the wheel on the President? She could ruin everything."
"I'm sorry, sir. Do you want me to whack the Scariens?"
"No, they need to go on that middle east trip for us. Forget those fools and get your little butt up to the White House."
"Should I whack Hillary?"
"Not yet. You just find those plans."