wEakLy wHiRL kNEwZ


Wanted by the FBI:
Miztah Skaree, Alien

RICHMOND ~ A mysterious man deemed to be an alien by the FBI has intervenend on behalf of the underground Scarien combo. As previously reported in this tabloid, the CIA secretly recorded a Scarien performance and the tape was then obtained by offshore bootleg record executive Max Alucard. Alucard was prepared to release the recording on compact disc despite objections of the musical combo. Negotiations between Max Alucard and Scarien agent Manny Jacobs regarding the CD broke down and observers expected Alucard to release the unauthorized recording.

Music industry insiders were amazed to learn that a show biz outsider named Miztah Skaree persuaded Max Alucard to turn over the entire production run of the Scarien CD. Apparently, Skaree convinced Alucard to give him the CDs. A spokesperson for the Scarien combo would not elaborate on the details of the arrangement but confirmed that Miztah Skaree had obtained the CDs from Alucard.

Tabloid journalists in the Alien and Mind Control Divisions of the wEakLy wHiRL kNEwZ immediately remembered old news accounts regarding Miztah Skaree. In 1959, this tabloid's predecessor published an eye opening story revealing that J. Edgar Hoover sold an alien mind control device to Elvis.

The Whirl Beat Press reported that Hoover had confiscated the device from Miztah Skaree, who managed to evade FBI agents after they raided his hideout. Hoover then placed Skaree on the FBI's Top 40 Most Wanted List and issued a warrant for felonious possession of seditious music with the intent to distribute. The file number shown on the FBI's photo of Miztah Skaree indicates that that their investigation of Skaree was part of a larger investigation which focused exclusively on aliens.

The Scarien spokesperson did not deny that Skaree is an alien, but insisted that the FBI was run by evil mutant aliens. Tabloid journalists were told that the FBI is portraying Skaree as a dangerous alien who threatens national security when in reality the enigmatic Skaree is actually devoted to saving the human race from evil mutant aliens.

The fugitive alien will distribute the Scarien CD and use the proceeds to fund ultra reality research. Skaree has already set up a web page advertising the CD, which has been distributed to various retail outlets and underground record shops. Go to THE SCARIENS CD IS HERE for additional information.